Happy Halloween

Cat Sym
Sym's Cat Claws

Sym got up extra early to do her chores so she would have time to put on these press-on nails, by which I mean so I would have time to do it for her. Oh and I’m not apologizing for my messy house in these pics. I’m a HUMAN BEING, dammit.

I’m officially skipping Halloween this year. I’m just too tired and pregnant to put up decorations, I don’t feel like giving out candy (our neighborhood gets so many kids it’s basically a full time job, haha) and I never got around to making my costume. Sym’s dad is going to take her trick-or-treating and I think I’m just going to hole up in my apartment and drink cider or something (probably work on orders for Christmas banners like I did last night, tbh). I am going to put up my traditional bamboo-and-spooky-caution-tape fence around the backyard to protect the grass from getting churned up, especially as it’s been wet and rainy all week, but that’s all. No flashing eyes, not glitter skeletons, no pumpkins, although I do invite you to check out what an amazing job I did last year.

Cat Sym + Cat Claire

Anyway I hope everyone who ISN’T too pregnant to function has a great Halloween!

Cradle Robber

Sweet Dreams

When Taylor and I took our pre-natal class the instructor talked about how right towards the end of the pregnancy your HARD-CORE nesting instincts will kick in and you’ll want to undertake a bunch of big projects. She suggested that we resist this urge and take the time to relax and rest up, saving our energy for labour and delivery. Of course, me being me I was like…

… and decided to refinish a cradle. It was given to me by Sym’s grandma to use in our bedroom when Baby Laramie is very tiny, and while the shape was nice and it was in good condition, the colour was oogly and I got a bunch of splinters from it. Basically nothing that couldn’t be fixed with some sanding and painting! I’m ridiculous and thought it’d take me two days to finish this refinishing, but I kind of overestimated my energy levels and how tedious it would be to do all the little spindly bars, so it took more like two WEEKS. In the end it was worth it because I’m basically In Love with the results.

Finished Cradle with Dog

I didn’t bother taking before or in progress pictures because who cares. I mean, it’s pretty straightforward: sand off the old finish, a couple of coats of primer, a couple of coats of paint and boom, done. I considered painting the whole thing turquoise but in the end I went with light grey because I already had the paint (it’s the same one we used for Taylor’s desk) and I wanted to do this on the cheap.

Cradle Flower Panel Detail

I decided to add some cuteness with a little floral detail on one end panel in turquoise, yellow, and grey acrylic paint and black Sharpie. If I was more ambitious I’d paint flowers on the other end and maybe the rockers as well but I think I need to stop. I have other projects to do anyway, I mean, these hand-embroidered felt leaves aren’t going to assemble themselves into a mobile, are they?

Felt Leaves

38 Weeks 1 Day

I meant to take pictures & make this post yesterday but my hair was absurdly in need of a cut and the earliest I could get an appointment for was 5pm. Then when I got home I was too tired and sore to do anything but collapse on the couch. Actually first I collapsed in the bath and then I collapsed on the couch. Basically I was just collapsing everywhere.

38 Weeks

So. 38 weeks! That’s pretty much done, I guess. My doctor seems confident that this baby will make her appearance fairly close to her due date (November 8th), so it could be a couple weeks more but still, she could arrive at any time, and you know what?

THAT FREAKS ME OUT.

I’m starting to get pretty nervous about this whole going into labour thing. When I had Sym, my water broke well before my labour really started (I guess I was having contractions, but so mild I couldn’t even tell), so I was admitted to the hospital basically right away and ended up being induced. I knew when the contractions were going to start, I was surrounded by medical personnel, everything was in a like… controlled environment with people telling me what was going to happen and when. So this idea of contractions just starting whenever they feel like it and timing them and everything is kind of making me bug out! (Obviously I know people do this all the time blah blah blah but I’M ALLOWED TO HAVE MY FEELINGS OKAY.)

Other than my omg feelings, we are pretty much prepared for the baby around here. I mean, I have to finish making the mobile I started and I want to get some little shelves and pictures for the nursery, as well as a side table that is proving ANNOYINGLY IMPOSSIBLE to find, but those things aren’t really important. The nursery is all done otherwise, and I’ve finally finished repainting the cradle to use in our bedroom (I was having trouble finding sheets for its little mattress and then I discovered a king pillowcase is exactly the right size- how cute is that??). All the bottles and clothes and blankets are washed. I have a basket of tiny diapers waiting on the change table. My mom has stocked up on the world’s best diapering salve for me and made curtains and a crib skirt and pillows for the nursery. Taylor has sorted it out with his office that he’s going to take a week off and then work from home for six weeks after the baby arrives, which is AMAZING- hopefully with both of us here night and day we can each get some sleep (lol yeah right). So I guess do your worst, baby, because we’re ready for you, as ready as we’re gonna be.

38 Weeks

Don’t forget to check out my newest post on Least Likely about how to be a cool mom by letting your kid skip school! And while you’re at it, like our facebook page.

Priorities

Cutie Dishes

Thank goodness I have adorable baby bottles & an adorable bottle drying rack I mean how would the baby survive without these things???

Cat School

Originally Sym was planning on being a dead flower girl for Halloween, but at some point she changed her mind and decided she wanted to be a cat schoolgirl instead. I’m not entirely sure what a cat schoolgirl is, but her grandma got her a school uniform to wear so today I made her some ears (the tail is still pending).

Cat Ears Sym
Cat Ears Sym & Georgie
Cat Ears Sym & Georgie

Georgie loves cat schoolgirls, apparently.

Cat Ears Sym & Me

Of course, now that she has cat ears she wants to wear them all the time (I guess she decided I needed bunny ears to go with her cat ears).

I’m still undecided about dressing up for Halloween this year. I have all the things I need for my costume but I don’t know if I want to bother making it? I have so many other projects on the go right now (etsy orders, painting the cradle, making the mobile, blah blah blah), and I don’t even feel like decorating or handing out candy anyway. I’ve got the Halloween blahs, tbh.

Weird Dreams

So everyone knows that when you are pregnant you have MESSED UP dreams. I guess it’s a combination of anxiety and hormones? Anyway here are my top three weirdest dreams I’ve had so far.

1. I had the baby and she was perfectly healthy but tiny, like a baby kitten. In this dream everyone wanted to hold her and I was like NO SHE’S TOO SMALL BACK OFF (I feel like this isn’t far off to how I will actually react to people trying to hold my actual, normal sized baby, tbh).

2. I was this pregnant but still working and somehow it was the dead of winter? It was all snowy outside and I had to get like, eight kids ready to go pick up Sym from school in all their outdoor gear, and every time I thought I was done I’d find another kid who needed to get dressed up! This dream in particular pissed me off because I’m not working right now,s o why am I having work anxiety dreams? NOT FAIR.

3. I had the baby and it was a boy who had some sort of rapid aging disease where he grew to man-size really fast but still had a baby brain. Oh and he looked exactly like Taylor. This dream was creepy as hell, I had to do all the things you have to do to take care of a tiny baby but with a giant man MAKE OF THAT WHAT YOU WILL.

BONUS DREAM THAT TAYLOR HAD: I died in childbirth (wow, thanks) and he had to raise our baby on his own. He was really proud of his dream-self for not giving up and moving back to his hometown, but I just wanted to know if he was sad in his dream.

Meanwhile, In Glitterland

After my two crab-tastic posts last week I think it’s time for something a little lighter, so here’s a post literally entirely about SPARKLES.

I’ve been busting my butt working on banners recently. I got a TON of orders in the first couple weeks of October and I don’t want to fall behind and then go into labour and never get caught up once the baby arrives. I also don’t want to close my shop right now and lose all the good momentum I’m building!

Here are some things I’ve finished recently:

Sweet Dreams Mini Banner

This is actually the first ever banner I’ve made for myself! It’s a mini banner in my new turquoise (more on that in a minute) and I’m going to hang it on the baby’s cradle, if I ever finish painting it.

Symphony Mini Banner

Last Friday we had Sym’s birthday party- originally we’d planned it for November 2nd, but I started to get paranoid I’d go into labour and we’d have to postpone it indefinitely so I rescheduled it at the last minute. I made these mini name banners for her and all her friends’ goody bags, but unfortunately forgot to take pictures of the other ones before giving them away.

Little Pancakes Mini Banner

This mini banner is for my friend Melissa’s jewelry business. She has an etsy shop but also does craft fairs and wanted a little banner to go right on her table (she already has a full-size one). I’ve also finally put up a listing for custom mini banners here.

It's a Girl (extra-large banner)

This might look like a regular banner but it’s actually EXTRA LARGE, with letters 5.25″ tall instead of 3.5″. People actually ask me quite often if I can make banners with larger letters, but the problem is that while they want the bigger letters, they don’t want to pay a bigger price so I generally never do it. This banner is for a feminist party, not a baby shower.

Chris & Laura

I am SO THRILLED with how this one turned out! It’s for a wedding; the couple used these cute little faces on their invitations and asked me if I could recreate them in glitter (OF COURSE I CAN).

Rosie's Meats

Another craft fair banner! This one is for Rosie’s Meats (obviously), hence the cute little steaks. Kate has bacon pillows available in her shop now, and soon she’ll have mini meat ornaments of bacon, t-bone and ribeye (I’ve seen them and they are very cute).

mint/turquoise/peacock

And finally, there’s what I meant by new turquoise! When I got the new glitter colours the other week they were actually picked up by Sym’s dad and grandma at a store out in the suburbs. I was given one sample of each colour and then they went back to pick up more sheets of the colours I wanted (all of them!), but I didn’t realize until last week that they’d actually gotten me this extra colour which I’d never gotten a sample of! I falls right between the mint and the colour I’d originally called turquoise, so I renamed the old turquoise to peacock and this is the NEW turquoise.

My Trip to the Breastfeeding Clinic

Remember a while back I posted about how I couldn’t breastfeed? Well, I still wanted to try- it’s been 15 years since my reduction and maybe things have changed. I discussed it with my doctor, she referred me to the breastfeeding clinic, and I was able to get an appointment for yesterday morning.

Unfortunately yesterday morning was pretty crummy. I slept poorly, I had to deal with a stressful bank situation at like, 8am, I couldn’t find a cab and had to take the train and speedwalk five blocks to make it to my appointment in time. Plus, I’m super pregnant and emotional and everything is hard right now. What I’m saying is I wasn’t in a good place when I got there, but I was determined to have a good appointment and hopefully come away with useful information. I saw the doctor and got examined and talked about options and basically what it came down to was this:

Yeah. My boobs are a mess and my nipples are a mess and although she agreed with my personal assessment that it wouldn’t be an issue of supply (idk why people always think that’s the case) she said it wasn’t very likely that enough milk would actually make it out of my body to nourish a baby, even if the baby could latch properly, which is even more doubtful. OH WELL. To be honest it was kind of refreshing to hear, because everyone else always tells me that they know BILLIONS of women who’ve been able to successfully breastfeed after a reduction with no difficulty or problems at all. LIARS, I say.

I wasn’t surprised or disappointed to hear any of this, but that was the part of the day when my body decided it really hated me, and I burst into tears in the examination room! It was really frustrating- the doctor thought I was crying because she’d just told me I probably wouldn’t be able to breastfeed and therefore I felt like I was a failure as a parent or a woman, and spent the rest of the appointment trying to reassure me that that wasn’t the case but like… I KNOW THAT ALREADY. I wasn’t crying about breastfeeding, I was crying because I’d had a bad morning and was at my limit or something? idk, I started crying again in Toys R Us half an hour later and I don’t have that many strong feelings about Lalaloopsy dolls either.

Anyway. Even if it was an awkward weepy disaster, I’m glad I went. She gave me a plan for pumping & bottlefeeding that I can put up on the “Breastfeeding Plan” whiteboard in my hospital room (that’s a real thing) so the nurses don’t get on my case about breastfeeding this time, and idk, after all these years it’s nice to have a real actual professional say “no no, you were right about this all along.” Plus now I don’t need to stress about trying to find nursing bras in size giganto, because APPARENTLY there are less options for that than with regular bras. WTH.

Real Talk: 37 Weeks Pregnant and I Feel Like Crap

Just a photobooth picture this week, I’m tired and in a terrible mood and I have one hundred billion things to do today to get ready for Sym’s birthday party, which is tomorrow. Please enjoy my new pajamas and my one stretchmark (I have four or five smaller ones on my left side, but the right side just has the one big one. WEIRD).

37 Weeks

One thing I’ve noticed this pregnancy is that it kind of seems like people want you to feel crummy. Especially now here at the end when I’m super pregnant: people ask me how I’m doing with that faux-sympathetic head tilt and when I answer that I feel great it’s like they are almost disappointed? It’s weird and gross and I wish people would just stop doing it. Like what do that want me to say? That I feel so shitty I wish I never decided to have this baby? THAT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

HOWEVER. I’m going to be real here and say NO. NO I DON’T ACTUALLY FEEL GREAT. Of course I don’t; I’m 37 weeks pregnant for crap’s sake. I’m tired and my body aches and I have to go pee every time I stand up and all the bones of my pelvis feel like they are made of shards of broken glass. I’m also drained and exhausted emotionally and yesterday I burst into tears for no reason, several times. But when people ask me how I’m feeling I’m not going to tell them all that. I’m going to tell them I feel great, and I’m so happy to be having this baby. Because I am!

Other stuff I’m tired of:

• People commenting on my body (this seems weird to complain about with a picture of my belly at the top of this post, but I’m full of contradictions). Stop, just stop. Stop saying “OH WOW YOU ARE SO HUGE” because tbh I’m really not? I still haven’t even gained 20 pounds this pregnancy, so go find someone who’s gained like, 80 pounds and comment at them. No wait, don’t do that either. How about you just keep all your opinions and observations about women’s bodies to yourself because as unbelievable as this may sound, pregnant or not, our bodies aren’t public property.

• People speculating about the apparent freakish size of my baby. Again, JUST STOP. Why do people always do this? “WOW SURE LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE CARRYING AN ELEPHANT-SIZED INFANT WHO’S GOING TO TEAR YOUR VAGINA TO SHREDS!” followed by gleeful chortling. Why. Whyyyyyyyyyyyy. And even if I try to correct them and say “Well actually according to my sonograms and my doctor, the baby is on the small side of average” people still gotta say something about how the baby might come out really big. Um. How???? I only have a few weeks of pregnancy left, maybe you should spend less time trying to make me freak out and more time brushing up on your human biology, because an infant doesn’t double in size that fast.

• People I see every day saying “YOU’RE STILL PREGNANT???” What am I even supposed to say to this? “Actually I gave birth in the 16 hours since I last saw you, I just enjoy your inane comments so much I’ve decided to wear a fake pregnant belly all the time.” This pregnancy has actually felt like it’s gone by very quickly, but nothing makes time drag more than having the same boring conversation with the same person every day.

• When I’m out in public and there’s someone else with a baby and it starts crying and people say “Oh that’s what you’ll have to deal with soon!” (more gleeful chortling). OMG REALLY??? BABIES CRY????

Anyway. That’s all I have time to crab about today. Maybe I’ll be in a better mood the next time I post. MAYBE NOT.

Return of the Night Ninjas

I have kind of a love-hate-fear relationship with raccoons. I love them because they have such cute little faces and hands, I hate them because they make a mess of the yard, and I fear them because they are scary and vicious and freakishly strong and have huge fangs to tear and rend flesh. Their canine teeth are bigger than Dougal’s, and that is NOT RIGHT.

Luckily when they come around I’m able to observe them from behind the windows of my basement apartment: all the cute silly raccoon action without the terror!

Taylor Laramie: Wildlife Photographer

Taylor Laramie: Wildlife Photographer. He was trying to take a picture with his phone and it was not working- the flash kept firing omg you can’t take a picture through a window with flash!!! Luckily I have a supremely steady hand so I was able to get some only slightly terrible pictures of our visitors.

Night Ninjas :P
Night Ninjas
Night Ninjas

I just realized the reflection of my camera hand in the glass makes it look like I’m holding the raccoon’s head O___o FREAKY!

In other news from around the internet…

Today is the last day to vote for my friend Jessica’s daughter Kyra in the Vans Natural Foods Bedhead Contest. You can read all about their reasons for wanting to win here, and please please please go vote!

Some of my talented & beautiful lady friends started a new site a few weeks ago, Least Likely, and it is AWESOME. And as of today, I’m their official mommy blogger! I KNOW SO COOL RIGHT? So check out my post, check out the whole site, check out everything!