January 31st

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blue sky // when she carries her toy in her mouth like this Taylor & I are always reminded of The Cremaster Cycle, which is weird & disturbing // so grown up // playing doggie games with Georgie // tippy-toes // little snacks // flying // I finally finished rehanging the globe lights in my dining room, reserving judgement until I can see how they look lit up at night // my old bear Floppy + a ghost kitty + a Nara Yoshitomo postcard // yellow & green // sniffin’ around // singing to me the song of her people

Well now that the dust (and scabs, ugh) have settled from my pranking adventure I am OVER IT. Like yesterday morning if you asked me if given the chance, would I do that prank again I would have said yes, but today? HELL NO. Everything hurrrrrrrrrrts you guys, and it sucks. My hands are so stiff and sore that I couldn’t even peel a mandarin orange for Gwen’s breakfast this morning, and you know how easy those are to peel! I have also developed this weird pain in the side of my abdomen which I’m not sure is from crashing down on that side or if I just coughed so hard I pulled a muscle, which is totally plausible because I’m still sick as hell. Good grief what a disaster.

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Seeing as how it’s the last day of the month I thought I’d do a little update on how I’m doing with my goals, and the answer is GREAT. I’m doing awesome, and I’m not even being sarcastic.

1. Putting my laundry away: I have totally been doing this, and I’ve been making Taylor do it too so our bedroom is like, 75% less piles of clothes now. As a weird bonus, being so ~on top~ of laundry has somehow also extended to being ~on top~ of the dishes, amazing.

2. Growing out my hair: well I haven’t cut it all off yet. I actually have a hair appointment tomorrow but I’m only getting the back cut where it is looking shaggy & mullet-y and bad and keeping all my hard-won length in the front. I conceivably COULD cut it all short since my natural colour roots are long enough but then it’d take the next six months to get back to the point I’m at now, so NOPE.

3. Stop eating potato chips during the week: I HAVEN’T HAD ANY POTATO CHIPS AT ALL. NOT ONE. FOR A WHOLE MONTH.

4. Be consistent with wearing sunscreen (especially on my feet): still totally irrelevant since I basically haven’t gone outside during daylight hours and when I have I’ve worn boots & a parka (but when I have gone out my regular facial moisturizer is SPF30).

Sooooo basically so far I AM THE BEST AT GOALS. At least for January, I’m reserving judgement on my prospects for February.

January 30th

warning: contains a gross & graphic image of dirt & blood & shredded skin

If you watch the show New Girl, you may be familiar with the character Winston and his love of pranks. Winston enjoys pranks but he’s really bad at them in that he always goes too small, or way, WAY too big.

I’m very similar, in that I love pranks but I’m bad at them. The problem is partly that I can’t keep it together and I start laughing and ruin my own prank, and partly I’M A FUCKING IDIOT.

Last night Taylor was taking the dogs for a walk. We always use the same dog walking route so after I took the food scraps* out I decided to meet up with him. Originally I planned to just run up and get the dogs all excited, but when I saw where they were on the path I decided it was the perfect opportunity for a prank.

The park opposite has a path that runs between the fenced dog park and the fenced schoolyard. On the dog park side of the path there are some community garden plots, and at the east end the community gardeners have built a small shed to keep tools, a picnic table, and a large compost bin. I decided to crouch down and hide behind the compost bin and when Taylor got close, jump out and scare him by screaming. THE PERFECT PRANK, since he was far enough from my hiding place that my giggling wouldn’t give me away.

I crouched down really low and waited, peeking around the corner of the bin. When Georgie & Kichou came into view I sprung out, screaming like a banshee. AND THIS IS WHERE EVERYTHING WHEN WRONG. You see, what I didn’t realize (because it was dark and I’m an idiot) is that I was standing in slippery mud. When I lunged forward from my crouched position my feet slid out from under me and my banshee screaming soon turned into real screaming of the “OH SHIT” variety. Taylor was scared for like one second and then he was just baffled as I flailed my way towards the path, pinwheeling my arms and trying to regain my balance. I could have just let myself fall but I didn’t want to get gross compost-adjacent mud all over my nice North Face parka, so I kept going.

I feel like I got lower and lower to the ground as I flailed and slipped and pinwheeled and eventually I just crash landed on the path. THE GRAVEL PATH. I skidded all the way across it on my hands and elbows and one hip and it was all very spectacular. As soon as I came to a stop I rolled over and started laughing because it was SO FUCKING FUNNY like omg what a boneheaded move.

I figured my hands would be skinned but when I held them up they were not just skinned but shredded, embedded with gross dirt & rocks and bleeding pretty spectacularly. I actually thought I might have to go get stitches in one of the cuts, it was pretty deep, and I was definitely looking forward to explaining to the emergency room personnel how I’d done it (It was a prank!). Taylor helped me up and cut the dog walk short because I obviously couldn’t be trusted the walk home on my own get my keys out of my coat pocket with my blood-hands.

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pranks!

When we got back to the house I washed my hands and thankfully the bleeding had stopped (so no stitches needed) but I had to scrub them to get the filth out and also pick off some of the mangled, unsalvageable skin shreds. Gross, painful, not fun. I also managed to skin one elbow (through my parka, somehow?) and this morning my hip is super sore. It hasn’t bruised yet but I think it will as it seems to have a huge goose egg on it (which is not something I realized one could get in places other than one’s head).

I still think it was an excellent prank and very funny, just maybe not the best execution.

*Vancouver started a food scraps recycling program last summer and I was ALL ABOUT IT until my house became infested with fruit flies. I quit using my food scraps bin for months (shh don’t tell the mayor) until I realized I could keep it in the freezer and it would remain bug free. DUH.

January 27th

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it’s Dougal’s birthday today, he is ten years old! // baby eats: croissant, cheese & tomatoes // I found this tiny leaf skeleton in my living room // new nails new life, acrylics done by Leon & Anna at Fantasy Nails // apparently 2014 is the Year of the ADORABLE BABBY PONY :3 // I started making smoothies again // everyone wants hugs

In December when I was decorating for Christmas I put up a string of globe lights in the dining room (you can find these in a lot of places but they are cheapest BY FAR at Target, I actually had Sym’s dad pick them up for me when he was in the US a while ago, like pre-Target Canada). I loved it so much I decided to keep it up after the holidays, but I needed to change the way I hung it so I didn’t have an extension cord hanging down the middle of wall where babies could grab it. I decided to run the cord up the corner of the dining room wall since there are shelves in the corner with an outlet behind them, out of reach of baby hands.

I also had some cable management plastic channel thingers (I believe that is the scientific term) that Taylor bought probably a hundred million years ago to manage all the cables under his desk, but then never did. I figured running those up the wall with the extension cord inside them would help the whole thing to look tidier, plus if I want I can paint them to match the wall (currently they are white).

It was a brilliant plan, and I have it all set up and ready for the lights (I just need to put up some more hooks to hang the light string in the new way) buuuuuuut while I was doing all that Gwen managed to get a box of Kleenex off my desk and HILARITY ENSUED. I wonder what babies are thinking when they do stuff like pull every single tissue out of a box and pile them in drifts around themselves, are they like “Oh nice, a white square. I’ll just pull this white square out of the white square holder and- hang on a tick! What is this? ANOTHER white square??? I’ll just pull it out of the white square holder and- hang on a tick! What is this? ANOTHER white square???” aaaaaand repeat one million times. BABIES, right?

She’s also recently made her way into the bathroom and unspooled an entire roll of toilet paper, and into the foyer where she unspooled an entire roll of dog poop bags. She also figured out how to open the drawers in the entertainment stand and stole all the remote controls. I had to steal childlocks from the kitchen cupboards to secure the drawers and when she figured that out she emptied the cupboard where I keep my filing cabinet full of work papers and receipts. Thankfully I’d already ordered an extra-long retractable baby gate to go between the edge of the cupboards and the kitchen island, and an extra set of hooks for the other side of the island so I can put my hallway-blocking gate across that space. Let me tell you, it’s been a HUGE relief being able to block the baby out of the kitchen when I’m cooking, or loading the dishwasher, or doing anything where I don’t want a toddler pinching me on the backs of my knees (once she did it while I was cutting tomatoes and I jumped and stabbed myself in the finger). Seriously if you have a stupid, open-plan apartment where you can’t use traditional baby gates to keep little ones out of places they shouldn’t go then I WHOLE-HEARTEDLY recommend these.

January 24th

Blogging is hard when everyone is sick. What would I even post? A comparison of throat lozenges (my husband pronouces it loSenges and it drives me crazy)? Pictures of the overflowing tissue trashcan, like we have a dedicated trashcan JUST for used tissues and it’s ALWAYS full? That’s so disgusting! Everything here is gross right now, but here’s a few random tidbits.

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Hanging with my favorite tween watching PLL.
Father daughter dance
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sleepytime // now that there is a tv in my room we can lounge on the bed to watch Pretty Little Liars and it’s GLORIOUS // daddy-daughter dance // baby eats: orange-ginger salmon, honey glazed carrots, and mashed potatoes // I’m in the middle of my semi-annual Moomin marathon // stickers stickers stickers // ol’ blue eyes // she’s the tallest

Gwen is super into getting dressed these days. Like I don’t mean she’s happy when I put clothes on her (unless the clothes in question are zip-up footie pajamas, but that just because she’s obsessed with zippers and being zipped into things, she just really likes the zipping), but when she finds something that is clothes, or clothes-like, she tries to put it on herself. She puts shirts on her head and wraps them around her shoulders, she sits on the floor laying leggings on her legs and shoes on her feet as if that will magically make them be on her body. She has a special hooded bath towel from Ikea and that she actually can put on herself, usually backwards, and when she has it on she parades around the house proudly, dressed in what appears to be ceremonial robes.

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One of the effects of my cool (ie NOT COOL AT ALL) disease is that my nails are a pathetic mess. Like they were never GREAT but now they are so weak and brittle they are practically non-existent. Vapourous. I can’t grow them to the tips of my fingers, let alone PAST the tips, without them breaking and splitting and cracking and peeling. I’m basically over it so I made an appointment to get acrylics put on this weekend for the first time in my life. I’m an embarrassing combination of nervous and excited about it? Someone tell me it’ll be okay.

The other week I decided enough was enough with my faded hair. Like, the purple had faded SO MUCH that my ends were starting to look like idk… toothpaste? Like weird minty green-blue, especially in the front. I took the leftover purple dye and mixed it with an entire giant bottle of Pantene conditioner to make a lighter purple to retouch it with. It’s still pretty dark; I probably shouldn’t have put all the dye in but OH WELL u live u learn igss. My plan is to keep retouching it and letting it fade, and add more and more conditioner to the dye until it’s pastel enough that it doesn’t stain my hands. Maybe by then my hair will be long enough that I can cut all the dyed ends off anyway? And then my pastel purple condyetioner (patent pending) will just be to keep my white hair from looking yellowed.

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A project I’ve been working on that has finally come to fruition is making stickers to sell in my shop. For some reason I had the HARDEST time finding printable glossy sticker paper that was water resistant/the ink wouldn’t run, like maybe that is just a thing that doesn’t exist in Canada? Like freezer paper, like how am I supposed to make stencils without freezer paper?????? Anyway I was finally able to find what I needed online for a decent price with reasonable shipping, so I put together a few sticker sets. The first one is based on these black & white mini-stickers I’ve been including in my banner orders as like a little gift with a coupon code attached, I did a larger, full-colour version with some new designs. The second set is based on my old self-portrait, how terrible is it to make stickers with my OWN FACE on them? I had a little bit of an issue getting the sizing right on these and had to reprint so now I have like… 48 stickers with my face. Terrible! I also did printed versions of my glitter stickers, and I have plans for several additional sets. You can find them all here.

January 20th

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looking sharp with a Fever Bug stuck to her face

We are all sick around here- well, not Sym, but everyone else. Taylor and I have had cruddy colds for weeks (WEEKS) and over the weekend Gwen got sick too. Is there anything more pathetic than a sick toddler? Still dressed in their rumpled jammies, trailing after you with a pale face and sad pink eyes. It must be terrible to feel so bad and not know why. I’m happy she doesn’t seem to have the cough & sore throat that Taylor and I have, but instead she has an endlessly snotty nose. At this point my house is about 90% used tissues and throat lozenge wrappers, and I think we’re all ready to be well again.

January 17th

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she has a special hat // squirrel friend, I got the cool effect on this picture by taking it through the plastic window insulation, what an excellent photography tip // what I work on when I should be working on other things // for the birds // Sally Hansen Midnight Glitz over Hard Candy The End, these were supposed to be my NYE nails but I was too lazy to do them then // a quiet room // I will never get over these curls, I’m hoping that when my hair grows out natural and undamaged I’ll have them too // baby eats: vanilla ice cream with pink sprinkles, I used a melon baller to make the tiny scoops // stacked toys // a nice moment ruined by my dog and her constant flailing // don’t you just want to hug her? // playing fetch // head in the clouds

When I have like 15-20 custom etsy orders to make my favourite thing to do is be a total bonehead and like… not do them. It’s so dumb! I mean I’m not late on any of them or anything but it would still be smarter to make them rather than doing stuff like idk, busting out my sewing machine that I barely know how to use (I realized I bought it last January and I’ve used it twice, WOW) and hacking* away at some fleece with it to try and make a cloud-shaped pillow. It was sort of a disaster but when Sym came home from school and saw what I’d made she asked if she could have it, and when I said yes she was so happy. So it was all worth it in the end.

*I know “hacking” isn’t usually a term associated with sewing but I feel it accurately describes my technique & skill level, and I mean hacking like with a dull knife, not like HACKING hacking.

January 14th

I moved the little kitchen and she is way excited about it.
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Kisses
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My desk is the cleanest it's been in literally months
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Baby is doing baby stuffs
IT HAS BEGUN #minieggs #easter
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O were you lying here?

a typical mess // are bibs not cool or something? I see all these pics of bibless babies/toddlers eating really messy food while wearing fancy/expensive/handcrafted clothes and I’m like… THEY ARE GONNA STAIN THE HELL OUT OF THAT SMOCKED DRESS // little scavenger // baby eats: li’l chicken & waffles // kissy face // start your morning right with a breakfast of Synthroid & Tapazole // my desk is so nice and clean now // but my bulletin board is a stupid mess // hi little one // the first Mini Eggs of spring // this creep // seriously, it is spring now // grabby hands // this dog is very undignified & also a bedhog

Gwen is such a baby on the move these days- although at 14 months old I guess she’s technically a toddler now. AND TODDLE SHE DOES. She hardly ever crawls anymore, usually just if she’s on a soft surface (like a mattress) that is too difficult to balance on. She walks everywhere, and even runs. Her favourite is when she sees me coming with a diaper to change her, she just takes off running in the opposite direction so I have to chase her down while she shrieks with laughter. If she’s carrying any toys she’ll throw them aside as she runs, I guess to reduce her weight & drag so she can reach higher speeds.

She still falls, often because she tries to walk right through a field of toys and steps and stumbles on them instead of going around. Usually she’ll just pick herself up, dust herself off and keep going, but if she’s tired or hungry or teething or is just feeling emotionally fragile that day then she’ll sit where she fell and cry, or pick herself up, dust herself off and follow me around yelling until she gets a cuddle (it doesn’t take long).

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Some thoughts on goals & goal-setting… Obviously it’s that time of year when everyone is busting out their resolutions or goals or theme for the year. I posted mine and I think they are really doable, and also clearly stated. But I see so many people posting these weird, esoteric, intangible goals and I just have to say WHAT. Things like “in 2014 I’m going to SIMPLIFY.” Simplify what, and how are you going to simplify it? Exactly what aspect of your life requires simplification?

Some other goals (???) I’ve seen that I just Don’t Get: “focussing,” “being more present,” and “being more aware.” BEING MORE AWARE OF WHAT??????? Like it’s one thing to set yourself completely unrealistic goals that you’ll inevitably fail at (which is why one of my goals is “don’t eat potato chips during the week” and not “stop eating junk food, start working out and lose 30 pounds” because lbr, that is not going to happen) but it’s quite another to set yourself a goal that DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING. You can’t (well you can but what is the point) just say that you are going to ~simplify~ and leave it at that.

PS As a side note my potato chip eating rule has nothing whatsoever to do with my apple pie a la mode eating rule and I will eat pie as much as I like even on a Wednesday like you can’t just compare apples and potatoes Taylor.

January 11th

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Well this can't end well.
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What the hell how did I do that???
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Saaaaaaaaaadieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee #ghosts #creepy #haunted
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Why are you not in bed asleep, baby?

stompin’ // buncha banners in progress // Monica Geller moment: “What if the baby gets in the ribbon drawer, and messes up all the ribbon? What if there’s no room for a ribbon drawer because the baby’s stuff takes up all the space? Where will all the ribbons go?” (ty to the person who made this connection on instagram) // this bear from bijoukitty is so cute // baby eats: nutella sandwich & strawberries (this was a disaster, she ate the strawberries and then screamed and cried until I took the nutella away and replaced it with vegetables) // heart in the palm of my hand // rude little stickers // sleepy friends // crazy legs // she can hold her bottle herself now (but often chooses not to) // a visit from Sadie (my haunted doll) // downward facing dino // wide awake and ready to party

Last week I got very sick and tired of Gwen constantly pulling things off the shelves on my side of the office, so I had the brilliant idea to swap out my open shelves with the bookcases in the hallway that have doors on them. DOORS. Doors that now have childlocks that are also basically adult locks because they are almost impossible to open unless you know the trick & have skinny fingers. I’m slowly moving my crafty things inside them, but not everything is going to fit and idk where I’m going to put it all.

I should probably go through everything and get rid of stuff I don’t use or need BUT I did that last year and since then there have been MULTIPLE occasions where I’ve been like “ooh I have a great idea for a craft project lemme just get out all the supplies I need… OH WAIT I THREW THEM AWAY.” Not cool. What I really need is more efficient storage solutions! And also to maybe clean out my desk and utilize the drawers to their fullest potential. Because that is a thing that will TOTALLY happen. Totally. For sure.

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I’ve been thinking a lot recently about this blog and the direction I want to take it in. Sometimes I get caught up in thinking that I HAVE to blog a certain way if I want to become successful at this. Post on a schedule! Make my images pinnable! Care about stats and bounce rate! But like…. I don’t care about those things, and I think getting hung up on them is stupid. And I don’t like or use pinterest, so why should I give a shit if my images are pinnable? Sometimes I need to remind myself that I blog for FUN, because I like it, not because I want to turn it into something else, something to make money from (I’ve already don’t that with enough hobbies).

January 6th

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Sym & Georgie // little photobomber // the queen on her throne // playing blocks // little ponies // serious bird // her pajamas match my hair // so do my nails (Sally Hansen Fa-la-la Lavender over OPI Planks a Lot) // undecorating // penguin massacre

The other morning Taylor and I took the baby and dogs for a walk. A red winged blackbird flew across the path and I was like “oh look, a red winged blackbird!” This turned into a discussion about what birds we could name, which turned into talking about hummingbirds.

At my parents house where I grew up we had a hummingbird feeder that hung outside the living room window in the front yard. My parents’ property is actually sort of hilly, like there’s the road and then what we called the bottom garden and then a slope up to the front yard, and it was great for the hummingbirds because the males do these crazy dives for their mating displays. The lady birds would all be hanging out on the feeder and the males would fly high up above and then dive straight down, but instead of having to pull up when they reached the front yard they could dive straight down to the garden, and when they flew back up by the time they passed by the feeder they’d be going super fast already. This made them look pretty badass and impressed the heck out of the lady birds.

The other thing about the hummingbird feeder is it was a great way to see science in action. You see, the living room had floor to ceiling windows, and as everyone knows birds often get confused by reflections in windows and fly into them. This would happen with hummingbirds all the time when I was a kid. They’d fly into the window at top speed and SNAP, break their little necks. My sisters and I would find them and bury their little floppy-headed corpses in old jewelry boxes. HOWEVER by the time I was in high school this didn’t happen anymore. Sure, hummingbirds would still smack into the windows, but instead of falling dead with a broken neck, they’d just hover there for a second, shake it off, and fly away. I think what happened is all the weak-necked hummingbirds were killed off, leaving only the birds with sturdier necks to breed with other sturdy-necked hummingbirds, eventually creating a race of SUPER-necked hummingbirds. Evolution, you guys.

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Taylor is back at work and Sym is back at school so I guess the holidays are officially over now. Welcome to the January blahs, everyone! Over the weekend I finally got around to taking down (most of) the decorations; it seems to be taking almost as long as putting them up. I do feel like I’ve cracked the code on how to make holiday undecorating not as depressing: just leave everything up until it starts to look like shit and you are sick to death of it all. I have everything done except for taking down the actual tree and some globe lights I put up in the dining room. Those aren’t STRICTLY a Christmas decoration though, so they might have to stay.

I also thought of a couple more goals (~resolutions~) for this year that I’d like to work on (in addition to putting my laundry away and growing out my hair, way to dream big): stop eating potato chips during the week (BABY STEPS) and actually be consistent with wearing sunscreen so I don’t end up with a weird, uneven tan before it’s even summer. Especially on my feet! I always end up with some weird flip-flops/Vans hybrid tan on my feet and it makes them look grubby and gross (grubbier and grosser? I mean I AM wearing flipflops in the city). Not this year though. This year is gonna be different.