how many, how much

2 Gwens

I absolutely cannot keep track of how pregnant I am. Last Thursday I posted on instagram that I was 33 weeks pregnant, but yesterday I saw the doctor (the baby is “growing beautifully” and I gained almost a pound, lol) and she was like “so you’re almost 35 weeks!” and I recalculated and she was right, tomorrow I am 35 weeks pregnant, not 34. This is not the first time this has happened, either, but at least I’m always miscalculating in my favour? Like I’m never “woo, I’m 25 weeks preg!” when really I’m only 23 or 24. I’m very eager to not be pregnant anymore so learning I only have five weeks left instead of six is a bit of a gift.

Of course, this also makes me a little stressed out because I haven’t exactly finished setting up the baby’s side of the bedroom yet. The crib is still in pieces and I JUST ordered the shelf that’s going to go on the wall between it and Gwen’s bed, and the estimated delivery date isn’t for three weeks! It’s mostly meant to hold Gwen’s toys but without it the toys are all over the place and I until I put them away I feel like I can’t get anything else done in that room, like hang all the art and idk, wash & put away all the baby clothes??? They are still all folded up in bins in my hallway, where they’ve been since I sorted everything out back in January (when I thought I was getting rid of it all). I just have so much to do!

Adding to the discombobulation of this week, Taylor has been away since Sunday, at a work conference in Las Vegas. He’s gone to conferences without me the last two years but BOY OH BOY does my being pregnant make it different. I made Sym stay home with me all week to help with Gwen/the dogs/around the house and I have been relying on her so much more than I thought I would. Doing anything is just so exhausting! Like doing the dishes AND going to the grocery store in the same day? Only if I’m going to bed at 6pm. It has definitely not been easy but thankfully Taylor is back tomorrow afternoon? evening? at some point anyway, and I can let Sym get back to enjoying her last few days of summer vacation.

five faves

The other month when I closed my etsy shop it was partially because I was too tired/sick to keep up with it but MOSTLY because there was an imminent threat of Canada Post going on strike. So this week I FINALLY reopen it and WHAT HAPPENS? Canada Post might go on strike! I didn’t even realize it was a possibility again but THANKFULLY I got all my orders from this week out before the 72-hour strike notice was filed (I used to have a daycare client who was a mail carrier and he told me years ago that as long as I shipped to the US before the 72 hours started it would be ok). But still. How typical of my life! I’m going to leave my shop open for now since there is a chance mediation this weekend will prevent a strike, but what I’m really annoyed about is in the past couple weeks I ordered all the supplies I need to make my next line of crystal tiaras and none of it has arrived yet. Most of it is coming from overseas and takes weeks to arrive under normal circumstances so if there is a total work stoppage I have no idea when I’ll get any of it.

Anyway, on to the five things…

WHO’S WATCHING THE GREAT BRITISH BAKE OFF??? And if not, why not? Like re-evaluate your priorities and make time for this.

This pregnancy I’ve been really enjoying wearing all my terrible/ridiculous jumpsuits and overalls and now I think I wanna get some non-maternity ones for the fall? I haven’t found the right pair that I like yet so if you have any suggestions leave me a link! I’m specifically looking for a medium-wash denim and a black.

tanie new hair
I got my hair cut fairly recently but being pregnant and not losing any hair means the cut grew out into a shapeless mass almost immediately so last night I went and had WAY more layers put in. I’ll probably regret it in December/January when I start to go bald from postpartum hair loss but right now I love it so much. If you’re local and would like to love YOUR hair as much as I love MY hair go see Aleksandra at in.salon.

We haven’t needed to buy much baby stuff this time around (lol I am SO THANKFUL that Taylor wouldn’t let me get rid of any of Gwen’s stuff!), other than a secondhand rockaroo I found on craigslist I’ve only bought a few special clothes. I did want to get a few swaddle blankets though- Gwen’s old bedroom was the coldest room in the house so all hers were flannel, and the new room she’ll be sharing with the baby is the warmest room so I figure we might need a few lighter weight ones. On the weekend I picked up this swaddle from aden + anais and it is so soft I want to LIVE in it. Like why can I not get a Tanie-sized swaddle blanket? DO I NOT DESERVE SWADDLING???

Teen Titans Go! is one of Gwen’s fave shows right now, and we’ve been slowly catching up on old episodes with her. This song features prominently in an episode from last fall but I just heard it for the first time this week and I’m LEGIT OBSESSED.

I hope everyone has a great Friday & a great weekend! Yesterday was Taylor’s birthday but we are celebrating tonight so I’m off to clean my kitchen well enough that I can bake a cake for him (no Genoise sponge though) (GBBO people will know what I’m talking about).

shop update: tiaras!

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Petite Natural Clear Quartz Chunky Crystal Point Tiara

As I mentioned in my last post, I was (sort of jokingly) considering reopening my shop to try and sell some of the little crystal tiaras I’ve been making, mostly to justify buying more crystals to make more tiaras, haha. I figured “what the heck, just do it” and so for now the shop is open again! I’ve listed a a handful of ready-to-ship items only (nothing custom or made-to-order), including the finished tiaras I currently have in stock.

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Petite Natural Clear Quartz Crystal Point Tiara with Copper Wire (sold)

Each of these tiaras is completely handmade by me with the utmost care. I select each crystal carefully to create a cohesive and unique design for each piece, and take great consideration with the wire wrapping to achieve the delicate look of the tiaras without sacrificing strength and structural integrity. And they have ’em! I’ve messed up a few times and had to take a nearly-complete tiara apart and start over from scratch and LET ME TELL YOU it is not easy to disassemble these! That being said they are not a toy and should not be worn or played with by unsupervised children, and care should be taken in the handling and storage of the tiaras to ensure they don’t get bent or broken.

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Tiniest Petite Natural Clear Quartz Crystal Point Tiara

You can find them all in the new “tiaras” section in my shop; currently there are just two available because they’ve actually been selling kind of quickly, but you can get notified of when new pieces are listed by liking my facebook page or following me on instagram. The tiaras currently available have natural, unpolished clear quartz crystal points, and I only have enough left to make three or four more so if this is the look you like don’t wait on ordering! I have more crystals on the way but they are a different colour and I don’t know when/if I’ll have the clear ones again.

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Petite Natural Clear Quartz Crystal Point Tiara (sold)

bluer skies

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I tried to write a post earlier this week but I had to trash it because it was very depressing and I already feel like this blog is kind of becoming a misery blog? Like I was in a very Bad Place emotionally about the fact that I can’t afford to take what I consider a decent amount of time off work once the baby is born, and I am very sad and guilty about it. I actually had some incredibly thoughtful and generous friends offer to start a GoFundMe to raise some extra cash so I could take more time off but unfortunately the problem is that if I take the time off, I will lose all my clients and have no income when I go back to work, and will have to start all over again from zero rebuilding my clientele.

It’s a pretty big bummer of a situation all round and I have cried about it a lot, especially this week, but I don’t want anyone to think I’m regretting the pregnancy or not excited about it; in fact, I am SO excited to meet this baby in just 8 weeks if you can believe it! I’m now 32 weeks and 1 day pregnant, which is BONKERS to me. This pregnancy has really flown by, but at the same time I’m so ready for it to be done. It’s been hard; it’s still hard. But it’ll be worth it in the end, and I am trying my hardest to be more positive because like… what else am I gonna do?

I never had another ultrasound (in spite of my continuing to not gain significant weight, the baby keeps growing so it’s just like… eating me alive I guess) so we still don’t know the sex of the baby. Taylor is hoping for another girl, Gwen says the baby will be a girl baby (and we should name it Gwen), and when questioned Sym says the baby “can be anything it wants to be.” Sometimes I feel like it’s a boy, sometimes I feel like it’s a girl, but in what I consider a major success, Taylor and I actually have names picked out! Mostly. I think. A first & middle name for a boy, and just a first name for a girl. Considering we had Gwen home from the hospital for several days before picking her name this feels like an accomplishment.

In non-baby/pregnancy news…

It’s Taylor’s birthday in less than a week and I am totally unprepared. Normally by this point I’d have his gifts all ready or at least picked out but I still don’t even know what to get him! I know if it was MY birthday I would want these Vans but I can’t really buy myself shoes for his birthday, now can I? I only have this weekend to go shopping so hopefully I won’t be too sick or feeble.

Next Monday we are FINALLY getting screens installed in our stupid casement windows! I’m so excited as we are in the middle of a heatwave and seeing as how we can only open four windows in the entire apartment it gets very stuffy in here. We are only getting screens on five out of the seven casements but it’s better than nothing and I think I will even be able to get a cross-breeze in here. I CAN’T WAIT.

I’ve been in a major creative slump recently, like beyond having basically shuttered my etsy into permanent vacation mode. I just don’t have the time or energy to make stuff at all, but yesterday I started working out how to make some little tiaras with those crystals I ordered a few months ago. Gwen is wearing my first attempt in the picture above (and yes, I did take her outside just to stage a photo with it against the ivy wall for my instagram WHAT OF IT). I want to refine my wire-wrapping technique some more and have already made a second one which is a little tidier. I also dragged Taylor and Gwen to the craft store with me last night to buy a slightly thinner gauge wire that I think might be easier to work with, and I’m struggling very hard right now to try to stop myself from ordering more crystals. I still have a lot of these clear natural quartz but I have my eye on some in a shimmering blue-green that would make a pretty great mermaid crown. Also some silver and gold ones. And pink. And aurora borealis. Maybe purple? Huh, I will probably have to reopen my shop and start selling these to justify all the colours I want to buy.

a little help

Saturday
Me looking cute with my bump on Saturday afternoon, before everything went to hell.

This past weekend was a very difficult one for me. While neither the baby nor myself was ever in any danger, for the past week I’ve been dealing with a very painful pregnancy complication. I actually took last Friday off because of it because I was hoping some extra time to relax would help, but unfortunately over the weekend it continued to worsen. It got so bad on Saturday night that I went to the emergency room to try to get some help. I thought I would be okay but about an hour after I got home the pain returned, worse than ever. I actually woke everyone up at 3:30 in the morning sobbing, it was terrible. After staying up the rest of the night crying on the couch (I insisted Taylor take the bedroom so he could get at least some sleep since I knew he’d be looking after Gwen all day) I went back to the hospital on Sunday morning. To give you an idea of what kind of shape I was in, after examining me the ER doctor offered me morphine, which is not a thing ER doctors at downtown hospitals generally do (I declined it). My first visit I was only there about an hour, hour and a half but this second visit was much longer. I had to speak to two different surgeons about the possibility of having surgery, which meant waiting around (in a very cold exam room with a very uncomfortable examination table!) for 4 or 5 hours.

In the end they deemed the surgery too risky for both myself and the baby, so they sent me home with a prescription for painkillers & patience. Basically I just have to hope that this problem goes away on its own, which pretty much sucks. It was so unbearable yesterday, I think I cried more in twelve hours than in the last twelve years. Like just sobbing in pain, for hours. I also had a lot of anxiety and guilt about my prescribed medication; I don’t even like taking Tylenol when pregnant, let alone stronger painkillers like these. Thankfully I have some great and supportive friends online who helped me to work through my feelings and I was able to calm down enough to actually take them. This relieved the pain enough that I was able to get a decent amount of sleep last night, and as I took today off of work as well I’ve been able to relax more and I’m finally starting to feel a little better. The complication hasn’t actually resolved, nor do I expect it to fully, which means things are gonna be rough for the next two months. But I’m confident that with the support & help of my awesome friends and amazing family (the level to which Taylor, Sym and even Gwen stepped up to help me is almost overwhelming in how wonderful they’ve been) I will be able to get through it.

enough

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The Fantastic Summer Fox by Taylor

Tomorrow I am 31 weeks pregnant and I’m pretty much at the point of feeling like YEP THAT’S IT THAT’S ENOUGH PREGNANCY I’M DONE. I think with Gwen I was like 37 weeks before I reached that point but this pregnancy has been so physically awful 🙁 Like I could deal with the exhaustion, the shortness of breath, the pelvic girdle pain, the heartburn so bad I can feel it in my ears… IF I DIDN’T FEEL NAUSEOUS ALL THE DAMN TIME. My morning sickness went away at like 28 weeks (I think?) and then last Thursday when I was 30 weeks it was back with a vengeance. It is just so hard to do anything when I’m constantly feeling like I’m going to hurl and have this sick taste in my mouth. It is very tedious and I am over it. But hey only NINE MORE WEEKS of feeling terrible, right? lmaooooooo

Because I’ve felt so crummy it’s been super difficult to the girls’ bedroom switch finished. Thankfully this past weekend was a long one and with Taylor’s help I was able to finish clearing out Gwen’s old room and start moving Sym in. First I had to fix all the holes in the walls and touch up the paint (which, btw, was NOT an exact match due to the different paint base), and once that was done we put up the curtains, installed the closet system and set up her new bedframe. That is pretty much it, and it took me/us the whole weekend. The closet system (1 shelving unit + 3 clothes rails) took FOUR HOURS to do because I had to take so many breaks! Yesterday during nap time Sym and I built her new desk and today we might put up one of her new bookshelves- she has an appointment with her ear doctor during naptime and LORD KNOWS I can’t do it myself so it might have to wait. It’s been really frustrating to be so enfeebled and I can’t help but think about when I was pregnant with Gwen and built her changing table/bookshelf and crib when I SWEAR I was more pregnant than I am now.

One good thing about the bedroom switch is now that Sym’s room is closer to the main living area it’s easier for the rest of us to annoy visit with her. Gwen is always going to knock on her door to ask for “more hugs” which is very cute. She loves hanging out with her big sister; she told us yesterday she wasn’t going to share the big bedroom with the baby after all, she was going to share the little one with Sym, haha.

On her first night in her new room Gwen opened her window (SCARY), so the next day I talked to her about how it wasn’t safe to open it by herself and installed a hook at the top of the window frame to loop the blind cord up out of her reach. So far it seems to be enough of a deterrent and she hasn’t opened the window since. Once the screens are in (soon, hopefully) if necessary we’ll get a mesh window guard to make it properly inaccessible. In the meantime we dug out the old baby monitor so we can hear what she’s up to in there, which has also enabled me to hear her weird sleepy mumblings.

Other good things (to counteract the misery in the first half of this post)…

Sym got her braces off last Wednesday and her teeth are AMAZING. They look perfect, and she is SO HAPPY. She got her retainers on Thursday and apparently had some difficulty with them at first (drooling, being unable to speak intelligibly, etc) but she says she’s used to them now. I think she’s really enjoying being able to eat any food she wants and also just brush her teeth with ease.

The past two Saturdays Taylor and I took Gwen to the Celebration of Light fireworks competition and she loved it! She asks to go to the fireworks all the time now, which is unfortunate since they’re over.

Sunday was the Vancouver Pride Parade and I was kind of thinking of going and then I remembered how sick and feeble and pregnant I am and I was like LOL NO, however that morning I was walking Georgie in the park across the street from my house and I saw Justin Trudeau, our Prime Minister! He and his family were marching in the parade and Nelson Park was the staging area for a few different groups, including the Liberal party. It was funny; I was about to head back up the street to my house and all these cops were like NOPE SORRY SIDEWALK IS CLOSED so I waited and two minutes later all these motorcycle cops and big black SUVs with lights flashing came roaring up my street. I got a few pics, all terrible, before giving up because he basically got swarmed and I was carrying my small dog & baby bump in a very excited and jostle-y crowd, but it was still pretty cool.

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Justin Trudeau is in the white pants & aqua shirt; the woman on the left in the denim jacket and aqua pants (actually a jumpsuit) pushing the stroller is his wife Sophie Grégoire Trudeau.