April 24th

Wow what a terrible blogger I am! In my defence, I PLANNED on posting days ago but I got Taylor to take a bunch of pictures for me and he hasn’t uploaded them yet. IT’S BEEN A WEEK, WTH MAN.

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Over the long weekend I…

Took the baby to the beach, which she HATED almost as much as the playground we took her too the other weekend. BABIES, idek.
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Had a totally chill Easter- the girls got baskets with a little candy, new outfits and stuffed lambs. I made nutella stuffed french toast with berries, bacon, and fried potatoes for brunch. I also drank most of a bottle of champagne’s worth of mimosas, oops.
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Went to Ikea on Monday, which was a sort of holiday and therefore a TOTAL NIGHTMARE omg. We even got there super early and it was still insane, especially in the kids’ section of the showroom. TOTAL CHAOS. We managed to get everything we needed and even though we went a little off list we also came in under budget. The entertainment stand we chose turned out to be $100 less than the price on the website, and I decided that instead of buying a new lil drawer unit for Sym’s new desk/vanity I’d just give her mine (even with childlocks it’s not safe from a certain Ms Baby Face so my new plan is to make space in one of the closets for all my craft stuff) so that saved us an additional $70.

Of course, I’m an idiot so after we got home I helped Sym pack up a bunch of her toys and moved some furniture & boxes in her room to get ready to make the new desk when everything was delivered on Tuesday. I managed to hurt by back and my wrist, which sucked, I had to wear a wrist brace all day Tuesday which was a huge pain because I need to wash my hands about fifty times a day.
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By Wednesday I was feeling better so I decided that during nap time I’d start building the new entertainment stand. I was like “it’ll be so easy, it’s just like four pieces!” AHAHHAHAHAHA no. It was literally the worst Ikea building experience I’ve ever had, and I have built A LOT of Ikea. In the end I was screwing pieces together as quickly as possible because I could hear Gwen starting to wake up and there were still bits of metal strewn everywhere!

Anyway it is pretty much done and ready for Taylor to move everything onto it (which he refuses to do until the weekend, ugh Taylor whyyyyyyyyy). Sym’s desk is also built and ready to me to set up her computer and mirror and everything. Next I’m going to start building the dressers, which is going to be the tedious worst.
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OH AND since I’ve been feeling so sick and crummy recently (seriously, I can BARELY function most days) I’ve been able to make a serious commitment to marathoning Keeping Up With the Kardashians/Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami and watched six seasons in a week. NOT TOO SHABBY, SUCH AN ACCOMPLISHMENT, WHERE’S MY PRIZE, etc etc. Anyway there are no more episodes on Netflix so now I’m at a loss for what to waste my time on.
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April 17th: The Non-Ranty Post

Well, after that last post I feel compelled to post something a little less… ranty. Tragically I took literally zero pics all week so it’s just going to be more words SORRY I’M NOT SORRY.

I’m very excited for this four day weekend I have coming up. Symphony spends Easter with us every year (Thanksgiving she spends with her dad and we alternate Christmas and NYE), and in spite of my not having the gifts I ordered for the girls seven frigging week ago (OK I’M DONE NOW) and the fact it’s supposed to rain all weekend, I think it will be very fun. Because of the dogs we can’t actually have an Easter egg hunt or have candy hidden around the house, but the girls will get baskets. I think Gwen might even get a little candy this year! I don’t know yet if I’m going to be making Easter dinner; if Taylor works on Monday he’ll have to go to bed on Sunday afternoon. He MIGHT take it off, but who knows. I think I’ll focus all my energy on an Easter brunch instead.

One thing we ARE doing is going to Ikea to get NEW DRESSERS for the bedroom and I am super excited about it. I recently read an article, or rather, a slideshow because it was on Refinery29 and they deal exclusively in slideshows, about how to tell if you are a grown up based on your interior design or something. I actually met most of their arbitrary adult criteria, I mean I am a 37-year-old mother of two, but the slide on which I failed most spectacularly was MALMS. Sorry Malm haters of the world, but a small-ish, awkwardly shaped bedroom that contains a queen-sized bed, has a tiny closet, and is shared by two people means MALMS, MALMS EVERYWHERE. I have a whole wall of Malms, but the nine full-sized drawers in 2 half-sized drawer in my Malm wall AREN’T ENOUGH DRAWERS so I’m buying BIGGER Malms with MORE DRAWERS.

Also on the list are the pieces to make a long desk-slash-vanity for Sym’s room, a new entertainment stand, and FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND CHILDLOCKS FOR DRAWERS & CUPBOARDS. Gwen is like a whirlwind of destruction, we have to put locks on EVERYTHING. Someone recently suggested I “tell her no” where she starts tearing it up and like wow, what a brilliant idea, why hadn’t I ever thought of that? The thing is, I do tell her no, I redirect her, I do everything you do to stop a toddler from tearing everything up and then the second I turn my back to make dinner or answer the door or just go to the bathroom, IT’S WHIRLWINDING TIME. She’s tall, she’s strong, she’s sneaky and she’s into everything. I actually have a furniture wall barring her from the couch/tv part of the living room right now because the other day she pulled the center speaker far forward enough that she could turn it around and tear the wires out of the back of it. And last week she and her baby friends turned the receiver on and off so many times they managed to reset it to factory settings and Taylor had to reprogram the whole thing, and he changed how the Chromecast is set up and NOW I CAN’T TROLLCAST HIM ANYMORE. Ugh, thanks a lot baby. Anyway that’s why we’re getting a new entertainment center, we need one with doors all the way across and that I can force Taylor to put EVERY SINGLE MEDIA DEVICE INSIDE IT I MEAN SERIOUSLY.

I promised Sym that we would redecorate her room this year, and the new desk/vanity is just part of it. She wants to paint the walls white (currently they are green) and to accommodate the new, larger desk I’m cruelly forcing her to pack away all her Playmobils. She just has SO MUCH, and she really doesn’t play with it anymore so the hospital-turned-school and giant Victorian mansion are messy and dusty and end up with garbage and other, non-Playmobil toys piled on them.

Twelve is just such a weird and difficult age, like she’s still a kid and into toys, but she’s also on the cusp of becoming a teen and leaving all that behind. My hairstylist told me that when she was Sym’s age she just came home one day and her mom had given away all her Barbies, and she’s STILL mad about it. I don’t want to do anything like that, and anyway I want to save all her toys for Gwen, so my plan is to get some storage bins that will fit under her bed and keep the Playmobils in there, as well as other toys like My Little Ponies and Littlest Pet Shops.

What else? Well, I still have Graves’ disease, and it’s still a bummer. I had been feeling alright for months but in the past few weeks my insomnia has come back with a vengeance, and I’m so tired all the time now! Like not just lack-of-sleep tired, but also physically exhausted. It makes doing everything so hard, and I’ve really been slacking on stuff like housework and making dinners that don’t suck because I just caaaaaaan’t. It’s funny, Taylor told me the other day that the same way I fantasize about coming into a bunch of money and being able to pay off all his debts for him, he fantasizes about being able to cure all my ills. Through stuff like magic and voodoo though, since he’s not a doctor and anyway there isn’t really a CURE cure for Graves’ (outside of like… scorched earth-type surgeries or radioactive treatments).

ANOTHER THING about being sick which sucks is I recently discovered I’m not supposed to have grapefruit! Apparently it interferes with the absorption of Synthroid, which is a problem because my endo has me on a suppress-and-replace regimen, where I take an anti-thyroid medication to stop my out-of-control gland from spewing out hormones, and a synthetic hormone (Synthroid) to make up for what my thyroid isn’t producing. Apparently doing it this way is easier and keeps my hormone levels on an even keel, so I don’t need to adjust my doses all the time. Fine, whatever, but as soon as I read that I couldn’t have them ALL I WANTED WAS GRAPEFRUITS. I actually had a 5-pound bag of them in the fridge :( I juiced them all and then I DON’T EVEN CARE, I DRANK ALL THAT JUICE. Oops. Anyway it’s done now, so I guess I’ll just live in a grapefruit-less world.

Oh and to make up for two giant wall-of-text posts in a row here’s some pics of Gwen & Dougal I literally just took right now. You’re welcome.
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That dog has the patience of a saint.

April 17th

Normally this isn’t something I would post about here but OH MY GOD I have been dealing with the biggest load of nonsense over on etsy for the past week and I have to get it out. It’s really long, I’m sorry :(

I know etsy; I like etsy (USUALLY). I sell a lot on etsy and I’d like to thinkI do a good job of it- if you look at my 300+ reviews, 99% of them are 5 stars. I also buy a lot on etsy and while I’ve had some kind of lame experiences in the past, for the most part it’s been great.

Until I tried to order from a shop called Indie Nook (i’m not going to link them but feel free to google them if you want).

I can’t even remember how I found it- I think I was just searching for like “bunny t-shirt” or something because I was looking for Easter gifts for the girls. I realized after I placed the order that I’d actually seen the shop mentioned a while ago on a couple blogs- one promoting it, aaaaand one was GOMI. I guess the shop USED to be called “Indian Nook,” which is of course whack as hell, so they must have changed it? The account is still under the original name though.

ANYWAYS. Bunny shirts. This shop had tank tops available in both toddler and youth sizes with a super adorable bunny printed on the front, and the toddler size also had little shorts printed with matching bunnies. SO CUTE! I really liked the of them and the shop had a 4-star rating so even though it was a little pricey ($74 including shipping) I decided to go ahead and order.

This was when I had the first sign that something was a bit off, because the listings were a confusing mess. The shirt by itself was available in six different sizes and three different colours, but the seller wasn’t using variations for the listing. If you aren’t familiar, variations are when a seller has an item available with different options, they can list them all in a drop-down menu that the customer then chooses from when placing the order. For example on my “Feminist Killjoy” banner listing, I have variations for “Letter Colour” and “Heart Colour,” and people can choose which ones they want without having to message me and wait for my response/for me to put up a special listing. Since there were no variations, I had to include the size (12) and colour (brown) in the “notes to seller” box.

The listing for the two-piece outfit was even more screwed up. Again, the tops were available in three different colours, and in tees AND tanks, with different sizes for each. Now, this listing DID use variations so I was able to select the size and colour I wanted (2T tank in brown, to match the shirt for Sym), however there was also some weirdness where the description and several of the pictures were of leggings, NOT shorts, so I also had to put in the “notes to seller’ that I would like confirmation that I would be receiving shorts, NOT leggings. Additionally I asked for confirmation that I would be able to receive the clothes before Easter- the seller lists a 2-4 (OR LONGER) production time, but seeing as I was placing my order seven weeks in advance I was fairly confident I would get my order in time.

The seller replied to me very quickly and there was a little confusion about the shirt sizes- I think she thought I wanted a 12 MONTH shirt rather than a 12 YEAR shirt, but we got it sorted out. In spite of the confusion, at that point I was very happy with the seller’s communication, and confident with my purchase.

On April 1st (an entire month later) I received a message from her, saying that American Apparel hadn’t included the size 12 tank in her order from them, but she was placing a new, rush order for it and as the other items were ready to go she would be sending them out that day. I thanked her for the update, and a week and a half later I got the package in the mail. It was postmarked April 2nd, so not the day I was told they would ship, and when I opened it up I found that I’d been sent the wrong colour shirt! Instead of the brown, I had been sent neon pink.

At this point I was still hopeful (perhaps unreasonably so) that I would receive the shirt for Sym, but the whole point was for them to be matching. Plus, while the brown shirt was pictured with the bunny printed on the front, for the pink shirt the bunny was printed on an off-white patch that was sewn to the shirt, which is not a look I liked.

This was last Friday, April 11th, and I knew the only way the problem would be resolved in time for Easter would be if it was taken care of straight away. I immediately messaged the seller on etsy, but the shop was on vacation mode and I didn’t know if they were checking messages in a timely fashion. It was at this point I thought to take a look at the actual reviews instead of just the overall rating, and so it was also at this point that I realized I’D MADE A HUGE MISTAKE.

That overall 4-star review rating is actually the result of a mix of 5-star reviews with 1-star reviews. Super pissed off 1-star reviews. 1-star reviews from people who didn’t receive their orders for over two months and had to file a claim with paypal to get their money back. Also, I don’t think some of the 5-star reviews should count as I literally saw one that said “I haven’t received it!!! But I bet it’s amazing:)” WHAT THE HELL, THAT’S NOT HOW REVIEWS WORK. There were a lot of complaints about how the seller didn’t reply to messages and the only way people were able to get a response was to comment on their instagram, so that’s what I did, and it worked; I immediately got a reply saying to message her on etsy with my username & order number and she’d sort it out straight away.

Even though I already messaged her on etsy, I messaged her again and then I waited… and waited… and waited! Apparently “straight away” means something different to me than to this seller because other than a hasty instagram comment on Friday night saying that she hadn’t forgotten about me I received no response ALL WEEKEND. On Monday, April 14th I sent yet another message asking if I could please just get a refund as it was clear I wouldn’t have the order by Easter. Once again, I received no response, so on Tuesday the 15th I posted on their Instagram account again, in an admittedly pissed off way, calling her out for ignoring my etsy messages. My comment was IMMEDIATELY deleted, so I posted another comment calling her out for deleting my previous comment but still not replying on etsy. FINALLY this worked and I got a reply from her on etsy, or rather, from a different person because I guess there are two people involved with the shop. The message read “We are refunding you, I did email you back, sorry for the troubles. Best wishes.” Now, idk if you know how etsy messages work, but all the communication between two people is is together in one long conversation, like facebook messages, and other than the vacation mode auto-reply I’d received no messages at all from them since April 1st. We could both obviously see that so I don’t understand why they would lie about it.

Before I could even reply to that message, I received a SECOND MESSAGE, this one saying “Can we send you a 2t tri blend rabbit tank, but not the 12, can we refund you for that tank? We can priority ship it to you. Theres no clear skies anytime soon for the tri blend coffee tank unfortunately.” Then, before I could reply to that they sent a THIRD message: “we literally just found a tri coffee bunny tee in a 12 and can ship it to you now if you want it!”

So this shirt that they told me WEEKS ago they didn’t have, now they suddenly have it ready to ship? So either I was lied to when I was told it wasn’t available, which would be INSANE, or their workspace is just as chaotic and disorganized as their shop & communication. I’m inclined to believe the latter, since this shop is clearly an out-of-control mess. I replied, saying “If you can guarantee that they’ll get here (Vancouver, BC, Canada) by Thursday- I need them for an Easter gift so there’s no point unless I can get them before the weekend, and Friday is a holiday so there’s no mail that day, or on Saturdays. If I can get them in time, or if you refund me I will be happy to change my review to reflect that.” I think that message is pretty unambiguous; it says SEND THEM ONLY IF YOU CAN GUARANTEE I WILL GET THEM IN TWO DAYS (remember this messaging was taking place on Tuesday), OTHERWISE JUST REFUND ME.

I didn’t hear anything back after that, but I woke up Wednesday feeling relieved our long national nightmare of this etsy mess was finally over. They would have to know that even with priority shipping it would be impossible to get the shirts to me on time- I looked it up on the USPS site and international priority shipping takes 3-5 business days. I sent what I thought would be my absolute final etsy message yesterday morning saying that since there was quite obviously no way I would get the shirts when I needed them to please just refund me now. I also included a comprehensive 5-point plan for how they could fix every single thing that is going wrong with their shop, streamline their ordering process, reduce complaints and keep their customers happy. I’M JUST THAT NICE.

A few hours later I sat down to work on some of my own etsy orders (which I always ship in a timely fashion, cough cough) and watch some Keeping Up With the Kardashians, when I got an email notification on my phone. “Another package for your order is on the way!” WAIT. WHAT. This can’t be right, but no, yes, they shipped the shirts when I specifically asked them not to unless they could guarantee delivery by Thursday. I sent YET ANOTHER message, expressing my displeasure that they completely ignored my request, but knowing I’d get no response I AGAIN was reduced to leaving comments on their instagram.

I admit it; I blew up. I put my capslock on to ask WHAT IS GOING ON OVER THERE, WHY DID YOU SEND THIS PACKAGE, I TOLD YOU NOT TO SEND THIS PACKAGE. I may have used the word “incompetence”. The seller told me to “calm down” and said that she spent $33 to priority ship it, and it would only take 3 business days! To be perfectly honest I’m not entirely sure that this person knows what a business day even is.

I told her I was sorry she wasted that $33 because I was going to refuse delivery when the package arrives, which will inevitably be after Easter. The absurdity was TOO MUCH, so I said “Is this a joke? It has to be a joke. JUST REFUND ME.” At this point the seller decided to take her toys and go home and blocked me on instagram. I think this is the first time I’ve been blocked on instagram! Truly a proud moment for myself. A few minutes later I got an email that my etsy order had been cancelled, and a little while after that I got a refund for one of the items (the shirt meant for Sym, which I never received), with a note that they’ll refund me for the others once I’ve returned them. I’ll also have to refuse delivery on the other shirts, which is funny because the seller will be charged for the return shipping. HA HA.

So I guess I won? But GOOD LORD WHAT A MESS. The really stupid part is that size 12 shirt that was apparently just hangin’ around their disorganized workspace this whole time. If they had their shit together and realized they had that shirt back on April 1st, they could have just put it in with the other items and sent them all together. And MAYBE something would have sparked in their brains and they would have remembered the 2 shirts were supposed to match and swapped out the neon pink for the brown tank I originally wanted. Then everything would have arrived together, in plenty of time for Easter, neither of us would have had to waste our time on this stupid fight and our money on sending these things back and forth, and I would have left them a good review! And honestly, if their other recent reviews are anything to go on, they could have used it.

At the time I was dealing with this, in their last three pages of reviews there were fifteen 4- and 5-star reviews (fourteen if you discount the person who left 5 stars before even receiving their order, wth) and THIRTEEN 1-star reviews. If I was getting those kind of reviews I would be ashamed. I sincerely hope they read over the suggestions I sent and take them to heart, because if not their business is going to be crushed under it’s own weight.

I decided to make this post because of my order being cancelled- etsy cancellations take a few days to process but I think once it’s finished processing my reviews will be erased, and I wanted to share what an absolute pain this shop was to deal with, as a warning to other potential customers. WARNING: INDIE NOOK IS THE LITERAL WORST, DO NOT DEAL WITH INDIE NOOK UNLESS YOU HAVE UNLIMITED PATIENCE AND CAN PLACE YOUR ORDER A THOUSAND YEARS BEFORE THE ITEMS ARE NEEDED. I also want a public record in case they try to screw with me by not refunding the rest of my money. I’ll just finish by saying: I HAVE SCREENCAPS OF EVERYTHING.

April 14th

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A few weeks back I was looking through old photos and I found all these pics of Sym out and about when she was Gwen’s age now, toddling around the neighborhood. I started to feel guilty that I don’t take Gwen out enough, so recently I’ve really been trying. It’s hard, because with Sym I wasn’t working at all, plus I’m exhausted all the time and on top of that I’m lazy. YES I ADMIT IT, I’M LAZY AND I’D RATHER STAY HOME THAN WANDER AROUND THE PARK. Oh and also we’ve had a lot of crap weather lately.

The weather was great this weekend though, so I made a real effort to get out of the house. It was kind of a bust, as Gwen is sick and crabby, but I TRIED. Mostly we just went to the park by our house, even though the playground there is a TOTAL WASTE (more on that below), but on Saturday morning I planned an excursion to a larger, better playground down in Yaletown. Well. Gwen HATED IT. Like she enjoyed the baby swing for about 5 seconds but other than that all she wanted to do was get picked up. She was all “Pick me up, pick me up!” and has no interest in climbing things or sliding down things or anything that isn’t getting picked up. Maybe she will have more fun if we go when she’s feeling better.

OK SO. THE STUPID PLAYGROUND BY MY HOUSE. A few years ago they renovated? re-landscaped? the park across the street. It used to just be a big open area with trees and benches and lawlessness. The entire park was off-leash, and was locally known as Dog Shit Park. There was also a lot of garbage everywhere, all the time. Now, the park is divided up- there is a fenced off-leash dog area at the southwest corner and a playground and water feature near the middle, with a larger open grassy area to the east. It’s great, BUT THAT PLAYGROUND.

I honestly don’t know what the city was thinking when they were like “oh yeah, what a great, practical and sure to get lots of use playground design!” It’s literally the dumbest thing ever. First of all, the playground is designed for children ages 5-12 (with a disclaimer that even children in that age group won’t be able to use parts of the structure). Great, except for idk if you know this about children ages 5-12, but they are in school all day. So the playground would really only get use afternoons/evenings, weekends and holidays, BUT IT DOESN’T, and here’s why: because it sucks. There are no swings, no real slide, just a bunch of weird shapes that you can climb up. And once you’ve climbed up you really only have two options: sit there, or climb down. That’s it. UGH IT IS SO BORING. No kids like it, so when they aren’t in school they still go use the playground at the school, which is much better AND IN THE SAME BLOCK. You can see it on the right in this picture. That’s the school with the better playground. IT’S RIGHT THERE.
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So. Since school-aged children are either in school or uninterested in using this idiot play structure, the only people you ever see there are people with babies, toddlers and preschoolers. Yes, all children who are too young to use this dumb thing, even if there was something to do with it other than climb up; pause; climb down. Every time I see people there with little kids the same thing happens: the kids TRY to climb parts of the structure, are unable to, and resort to just sitting around, throwing woodchips at each other. WOW, SUCH PLAY, MUCH FUN. And this is only during school hours, when the good playground is closed to non-students- during non-school hours the younger kids all play at the school as well.
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I was in the park with Gwen and one of her little friends (who is 2) on Friday, and the friend elected to sit on a bench and do nothing rather than try to play in the playground. SHE SAID SITTING ON A BENCH WAS MORE FUN. Personally I think they should scrap the whole structure and replace it with more traditional playground equipment that is at least partially suitable for children ages 1 1/2 to 4. It would get a lot more use as something other than a thing for drunk teenagers to fall off of and crack their skulls on (the #1 current activity for this structure)
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She’s all “Where can I play?” lol no jk, she hates all playgrounds apparently.

April 10th

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BABIES. I swear to god, babies (yes I KNOW Gwen is a toddler not a baby but w/e).

Gwen realized this week that she could use her new Hulk strength to move the cardboard playhouse, which I’d been using to block her from getting into the drawers of craft supplies beside my desk. With this knowledge she became an unstoppable force of mess-making. On Wednesday morning I went to the bathroom, and when I returned she’d emptied a jar of heart-shaped confetti FRIGGING EVERYWHERE. There’s no use crying over spilled confetti though, so I just let her play with it (she attempted to eat it but quickly found it not to her tastes) while I set to work figuring out what the heck to do. I can’t supervise her every second of every day, and this is an open-plan apartment so there isn’t any way to keep her out of the office area. I’d already taken the knobs off the drawers of my actual desk but the craft supply drawer unit doesn’t have knobs, just super convenient cut-away handles that make it a breeze for babies to get all up in everything.

In the end I pillaged the child locks from the kitchen cupboards (the kitchen is safely behind baby gates), but I had to empty all the drawers out first, with my demanding child trying to clamber over me to get at the tissue paper and ziploc bags and spools of ribbon. She likes to grab the back of my shirt collar with one hand and dig her little claws into my neck with the other. It’s a real treat, so much so that I haven’t even started putting all my craft supplies away in my now-secure drawers.

April 7th

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has cookies… // … wants cookies // daffies // outside // I realized after I took this that it’s a mummified ladybug from last year // pointed toe // the flowering quince is really getting it done // boot on & off // white mini eggs from my friend Stephanie // a constant wasteland of discarded toys // sneaky-face // only an idiot would attempt to embroider suede // spring angel // shoes don’t fit // somewhere on the other side of the gate is a cat // a non-mummified ladybug // she just needs a tiny aviator cap // a soft little paw

I went out shopping this weekend, ostensibly I was looking for tank tops (I’m always looking for tank tops) and underwear for myself, neither of which I found. I did get some things for Gwen: a long dress (I know some people think long dresses on toddlers are dumb and impractical but I say IT’S SO CUUUUUUUTE), new shortie pajamas for spring, a pair of shoes which are way too big but she insisted on wearing them around the house all afternoon anyway, and baby’s first jean shorts, which she also insisted on wearing.

While I was out I did a lot of weird thinking about what direction (???) I want to take my wardrobe (???) in this spring. Right now my clothes consist of assorted leggings & sweatpants, tank tops, and dresses I never wear but can’t bear to part with. WOW SUCH FASHION VERY STYLE. I mean obviously I have other clothes like jeans and skirts and sweaters but with my lifestyle of hanging around with babies and dogs in my house all day I have this what-is-the-point attitude about getting “dressed up,” like why would I put on something remotely nice when the only people who see me are under the age of two and will probably wipe snot all over my shirt?

Anyway the only thing I came up with was a sudden and desperate desire for some black cutoffs, but I also didn’t want to pay a lot of money for them. I figured I’d probably have to get a pair of black jeans and cut them off myself, but that seemed really stupid and wasteful, especially if I had to pay full price for them. However, in a burst of cleansing synchronicity I found a pair of black jeans on super clearance at The Gap, in the right size but the wrong length (too short, if they were long enough I would have felt compelled to keep them as pants). Serendipity! Now if only the weather would hold long enough for me to actually wear them…

Even though I didn’t find many new clothes (in addition to the jeans/cutoffs I bought a black t-shirt and ordered some black Birkenstocks because I had Birkenstocks in high school and time is a flat circle so why not) I did take a serious step in refining my wardrobe. Yes, it’s true, I FINALLY went through and got rid of all my leggings that have holes in the crotch. AMAZING I KNOW. I also pulled out all the too-small jeans and ill-fitting sweatpants and made enough room in my dresser that everything I kept actually fits in the drawers. This makes my spring plan to buy new, taller dressers with more drawers for the bedroom kind of pointless, except maybe it just means that once I have the taller dressers with more drawers I’ll be OBLIGATED to buy clothes to fill them. So now I just need to figure out my new wardrobe direction and find some money and I’ll be set.

All last week I worked on setting up the listings for the new line in my shop (I feel like a turd calling it a “””line””” but it’s so completely different from everything else I sell I guess it technically IS a new line). It’s no secret that I am complete crap at writing item descriptions so I enlisted the help of some of my friends to get them done. My friend Mollie wrote some that I love but don’t think I should use as they are bleak and bleakness doesn’t lend itself to somewhat frivolous spending, but I wanted to share them.

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“”they’re cumulus,” she says. it was early august. mother was giving us a lesson in cloud classification as we lied on our backs sucking popsicles. it was just weeks before the great war, and little did we know, these were the best days of our lives. “that cloud looks like a flower in bloom, mama. bloomulus.” 12cm x 6cm. felt.”

greyembmount2a
“it’s nearing dusk. it’s cold. cold deep down to the pit of your stomach. one more climb and you’ll be there. these 5 years of training have all been leading up to this moment. all of the tears and the blood and the sweat have been leading up to this moment. you’re at the summit now. you’re at the top of the goddamn world. 13cm tall. felt.”

embrwooltreeforest
“the last remaining forests on our planet are disappearing at an alarming and frightening rate. in the logging industry’s wake, animal habitats are destroyed and communities are devastated. and yet, it is the trees that sustain our lives. only you can save the them. 14cm tall. felt.”

Thank you Mollie, you are a treasure.

March 31st

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cherry blossoms are happening // so pretty! //magnolias against the sky, with guest appearance by the back of the hospital // she’s like “take me out take me out take me out for walkies!!!!!” // rhododendrons & soon-to-be-bluebells // idk what this one is but it’s really pretty // backyard dog // it was a pajama kind of day // guess what, I finally took pictures of my new items // in Ol’ Yeller, my giant bright freakin yellow double stroller // down by the cauldron // sky mountains water // Digital Orca // Gwen wore: coat for Zara, pants from H&M, boots I made // shiny // she’s chasing me // baby hits the bricks // bless this mess

2014 goals update…

1. Putting my laundry away regularly instead of leaving it piled all over my room: still doing this, still forcing Taylor to do it too.

2. Growing out my hair: this is going very slowly. I’ve mentioned this recently but it is seriously the most annoying length in the entire world right now: long enough that it’s always in my face/eyes, too short to put it back in any way that doesn’t look idiotic. I decided I’m 100% sick to death of the purple so in the past week I took real steps to fade it, doing two soap caps. I actually have enough bleach left to do a third but I’m pretty happy with where it’s faded to now. This was the colour on the 23rd:
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… and this is it today:
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3. 3. Stop eating potato chips during the week: I haven’t had any potato chips, I don’t crave them AT ALL anymore. I definitely need to pick another terrible food item to eliminate, but I’m not sure what. Pop? Probably pop.

4. 4. Be consistent with wearing sunscreen (especially on my feet): I actually wore sunscreen today! It’s really sunny and I was going out with Gwen and her baby friend for a couple hours, so I sunscreened my feet, face and neck. YAY ME, maybe I won’t get a dumdum tan this year.

March 28th

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tiny landscape // I planted four of these ground cover plants (I forget what they are called) a few years ago and two are still alive and covering the ground as advertised // raindrops on baby bleeding heart plant // little bun // tiny tiptoes // coffee & crafts // yawn // sprawl // tractor tea party 1 // tractor tea party 2 // making some important calls // sweet face // cranberries // failed mini lemon cranberry loaves, they are very delicious but distinctly lacking in structural integrity, possibly due to mini size or maybe I just didn’t grease the pans enough :( recipe here; for mini loaves bake 30-35 minutes

After that thing with Gwen’s new teeth and the cat barfing on the bed on Monday I thought this week had nowhere to go but up. HA HA NO. On Monday night someone (not me) accidentally shut Claire in Gwen’s bedroom closet all night and of course she peed in there, on the carpet. OF COURSE OF COURSE. Once I opened the closet door the cat pee smell quickly drifted out and filled this rest of the house, and I just had to live with it until Taylor came home from work with some vinegar*, like I couldn’t even go buy some on my own because I am completely broke and the chip on my credit card is malfunctioning AGAIN. The vinegar is working and the cat-pee smell seems to be gone (or at least, replaced with a slightly less offensive & rapidly fading vinegar smell), but that was not the end of my woes. I have a cold, Gwen has a cold, Taylor and I got in a fight, Sym and I got in a fight. Why is this week so difficult?

Gwen has two new favourite things right now that she’s very into; walking on her tippy-toes, which is cute, and wanting me to pick her up all the time, which is cute until I can’t/won’t pick her up or I have to put her down and then she screams at me with her terrible new scream until I capitulate. That scream, you guys. It’s the worst! The other night it was actually nice out (it’s been pretty rainy recently) so I suggested to Taylor that we take Gwen for a walk with the little dogs. She was fine for a while, trundling along in a super-adorable toddler fashion but then she decided she was finished with walking (after about 20 feet), and that’s when the screaming started. We were in the middle of the park and you should have seen the dirty looks I was getting (lucky Taylor was up ahead with the dogs and got no such looks). I wanted to tell everyone “she’s fine, she’s fine!” but eventually I just gave in and carried her the rest of the way.

My favourite thing that I’m very into is something I call trollcasting. Sounds magical, but it’s actually very scientific. Okay not really, we have a Chromecast hooked up to our tv in the living room and I discovered a while ago that it was possible to troll Taylor and Sym with it. If you send youtube videos from your phone or whatever to the Chromecast it’ll override whatever other media device they are currently using. They’ll suddenly be confronted with Sandstorm or the true nightmare that is Alan Thicke singing Sweaty and Hot (click that link at your own risk). Tragically this only works because it’s hooked up through the receiver, so it won’t work with the one in the bedroom because it’s hooked directly to the tv. Boo!

Sym is leaving today to go on vacation with her dad & grandma. Remember when I used to go on vacations? Then I had a baby and now I have no money lol oopssssss. Anyway while they are gone Dougal will be staying here all next week, which would normally be ndb but the timing unfortunately coincides with our dogwalker being laid up with a back injury. Somehow I’m going to have to get up early enough to take him for a walk before Gwen wakes up, every single day. I seriously have no idea how I’m gonna pull this off. I have this long standing fantasy that suddenly we’re rich and can afford a house of our very own with a securely fenced yard and in the mornings I can let the dogs out to run around and do their business and I can stand out on the deck and watch them while I drink my coffee and MAN would it ever be great to have that next week!

*Blot up as much of the cat pee as possible using paper towels or old rags. Mix 1 part white vinegar with 2 parts water and pour on the affected area of the carpet, saturating it completely. Allow to dry. Repeat as necessary until the cat pee smell is gone.

March 24th

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I put Gwen in jeans for the first time in forever and she was like WHAT THE HECK // the space under Taylor’s work desk is perfectly Dougal-sized // baby eats: sweet & sour pork (bonus game of spot the scavengers) // before // after // running everywhere always // “pick me up!” // she was very proud of this bag & her ability to carry it // brunch bound // Sinful Colors in Hottie & Pinky Glitter // cherry blossom babies // she’s very well behaved in restaurants // SOON I SWEAR // all embroidery, all the time // this would have been a nice picture if these two weren’t so impossible // little sweetheart

Gwen woke up today with two more teeth than she had last night. Those premolars are real sons of bitches, let me tell you, and they are making her a real delight to be around. Combine that with the cat waking me up an hour before my alarm by barfing ON THE BED and I’m having a suuuuuuuuper fantastic day.

I’ve been super into embroidering things recently. It started with adding detail to some of the felt mountains, clouds and trees I’ve been making, but now it’s just like… FULL ON EMBROIDERY. Since I’m super broke right now I decided to make a set of super-cool patches as an anniversary gift for Taylor. It took every last spare moment I had to finish them- except I didn’t ACTUALLY finish all of them in time. In fact I only finished one, OOPS. But I mean, I was working all week, plus I couldn’t work on his gift when he was awake, ie in the evening, ie my most productive crafting hours. I made a couple little embroideries for myself in the evenings, a tiny mountain that I made into a patch and put on my jacket and a tree that is still on the hoop while I finish up Taylor’s anniversary patches.

I made five, since it was our fifth anniversary (I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S BEEN FIVE YEARS). The ~traditional~ fifth anniversary gift is wood, so I made them loosely wood-themed: an evergreen tree, a pair of crossed axes, a campfire, our initials in a heart carved into a tree and a banner with our wedding date on it. The only one I finished in time was the date banner. The others were all done except for the borders, which I mostly finished over the weekend.

I was given all the embroidery supplies I used a few months ago, and at the time I was like “cool, but I’m so busy with banner orders, when am I ever going to have the time to do any of this???” Then last week I had an order on Sunday night that I made and shipped with the rest of my other outstanding orders on Monday, and then I didn’t get another until Friday night, AFTER I gave Taylor his gift. So serendipitous.

Other than our anniversary the big event this weekend was Gwen’s first haircut. We took her to the salon to get bangs cut, and even though I was worried it would be a disaster she was actually really good. She sat in my lap without fighting to get down and only flailed her head when my stylist had scissors near her face a couple times (ARGH). Since her haircut it’s been nice to not have to unstick her hair from her face in the mornings, and give her breakfast without having to wrestle her into a hair elastic first. Plus she looks so cute! I’m kind of like “why didn’t I do this sooner?” but I’m glad I waited for the rest of her hair to grow nice and long first.

My own hair is at the LITERAL WORST length right now. It’s long enough that’s it’s always in my face, but too short to tie back. Barrettes and hair clips don’t really work because it’s too thick and besides, Gwen is always pulling them out. I can only wear a headband for a short amount of time (they hurt my head for some reason) and anyway, they make my hair stick up weird. I’m also reallyyyyyyyyy sick of the purple, so I’m thinking of attempting a soap cap in the near future to get rid of it.

A few other things we did this weekend…

Celebrated our anniversary on Friday night with frozen pizza and champagne. Taylor suggested going out to dinner but the time between my finishing work and Gwen needing to have her dinner is extremely finite, and I didn’t want to be rushed.

On Saturday night Jenn came over to very belatedly celebrate my birthday. She’s moving to Berlin soon so if anyone is interested in the soon-to-be open position of My Friend please submit your friendship resume to me.

Sunday we took Gwen for brunch for the first time since Christmas. She was very good, as was the plate full of fried grease I ate. That afternoon we finally (FINALLY) mounted the old tv to the bedroom wall. It’s only taken me like… two months to get it done, which bodes super well for me ever getting around to photographing all those little things I’ve been sewing and getting them up in the shop, haha. Soon, you guys. SOON.

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