When you get married, the thing that people ask you the most is “When are you going to have a baby?” We’re coming up on our second anniversary (WOW) and I still get asked that all the time. It’s kind of silly, because OBVIOUSLY you don’t have the be married to have a baby (living proof right here) and plenty of people get married with no intentions of ever having any babies. Ever.
So do I want to ever have any babies ever? Well. Yes and no. Sometimes I think I want to have a baby with Taylor, and sometimes I think I just want things to stay the same. I like my life right now, and a baby would be a HUGE change. But then I also think that if I did have a baby I wouldn’t want to wait too long and be a super old mom. I actually had this secret plan for a while that I wanted to have a baby before I turned 35. Seeing as how I’ll be 34 in less than three weeks and have no plans to start trying to conceive any time soon I don’t think that’s going to happen.
Sometimes I worry that the only reason I want to have a baby is so I have an excuse to stop working. This would have been completely out of the question before, but last year Service Canada introduced a program of Employment insurance for Self-Employed People (like me). Through this program I could take the same 50 weeks (jealous, Americans?) maternity/parental leave as more traditionally employed people and receive 55% of my income, up to a maximum amount. Now, for regular people the amount you receive is based on your pay stubs, but for self-employed people it’s off your last tax return, and I made more money last year than ever before- enough to be eligible for the maximum. Since I want to keep my enrollment down this year (I had too much stress in 2010) it makes financial sense to have a baby before the end of 2011. But is that really the way to make a decision like this?
Taylor was never interested in having any kids- when a (former) mutual friend suggested he ask me out, the fact that I had a daughter was a near-dealbreaker for him, and he never planned on ACTUALLY dating me (or living with me, or marrying me, OOPS). When I first brought up the subject of our having a baby together he made the same horrified face he makes when I ask him to explain his job to me, and started darting his eyes around, looking for the nearest exit. He’s kind of come around to the possibility now, but he doesn’t want to consider it seriously until he’s more or less out of debt (again with the financial side of things! It’s so much easier to decide to have a baby when you are 24 and irresponsible), so anyone itching for Taylor and I to form some babbies should start making with the monetary gifts, haha.
I guess the only answer I have to “When are you going to have a baby?” is “WHO KNOWS??”