I’m not having a good day.
That’s my poor sick kitty meow in intensive care at the emergency animal hospital after I got up this morning to find her unresponsive on the living room floor. Like she was breathing and everything but her eyes were staring and not blinking and her body just… wasn’t working. I tried to get her to sit up and she just collapsed like a poor sad pancake.
We took her to our vet right away and they sent us the emergency hospital, where we were told she was very hypoglycemic (low blood sugar), with low blood pressure and a low temperature. Just low everything you need to be alive, basically. Because we don’t know how long she was like that (probably a while, judging by her temperature) they don’t know what kind of damage their might be to her brain (hypoglycemia = your brain starves). She could go blind. She could die.
Because she’s pretty old and what with this whole diabetes thing, I thought I would be okay if something happened to her. Like it wouldn’t be totally unexpected or shocking if she passed away, so I thought I had resigned myself to it, but I guess not. As soon as I realized something wasn’t right I just started crying and crying, I wrapped her up in a blanket and carried her around the house crying and then when I was getting ready to go to the vet I made Taylor carry her around because I couldn’t bear for her to be left on the floor.
I’m supposed to call the animal hospital in a couple of hours to see how she’s doing, and I’m really hoping against hope that she’s doing better because I feel like her passing away is gonna break my heart. Also, this:
They bring you the estimate while you’re waiting and let you “discuss it as a family” before you decide, and it’s like, either I’m gonna pay all of my money to try to save her, or I just let her die. How can I just let her die? I can’t. I just can’t, she’s just a tiny kitty and I’m supposed to take care of her! But that estimate is for just one day, if they need to keep her longer I can’t afford it, so please send all your positive thoughts to my poor Claire-Claire. I just want to bring her home.