Feelings on Graves

Arctic Baby Bear.
picture unrelated to post content, I put it here to make myself feel better, haha

I had an appointment with my endocrinologist yesterday so I thought I should post a little update on my Graves Disease. Update: I still have it, and it still sucks.

I mean… I actually feel fine most of the time, my symptoms are mostly negligible (mostly, as in I still have occasional jittery days, sleepless nights and OH MY GOD I AM SO HUNGRY ALL THE TIME) and really, is it so bad to take three pills a day (reminder to self: take your pills today!) and have a blood test/specialist appointment every three months? No, no it’s not. I’m lucky because my Graves is under control right now.

BUT. Just because it’s under control doesn’t mean it’s not still there, and there are things about it that I can’t not think about. Like babies. As in, what if I want to have another one (I do…)? Tapazole (the antithyroid medication I’m taking) isn’t exactly fetus-friendly, so if Taylor and I decided to were were going to try for another baby it wouldn’t be so simple as being like “Hey! Let’s get pregnant!” Will I have to have surgery first to remove my thyroid? Or maybe that WACK-ASS iodine treatment where you have to be isolated from the rest of humanity for a week afterwards because you are RADIOACTIVE??? No one wants to do that.

Idk, I have a lot of feelings about this and I can’t really express them. I just…. like people have given me lots of tips and resources about books to read, facebook groups or discussion forums to join, etc etc, and while I appreciate all that the thing is, I DON’T WANT TO. I don’t want to read any books about it, I don’t want to join groups and forums and discuss it. I don’t want to think about it, and I don’t want to have it.

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